Were you born to resist or be abused? Has someone taken your faith? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Foo Fighters — Best of You
TAR Tales
Partners in Men’s Health has created is a safe place, TAR Tales, for You to share your Truth.
We need to be aware of a brutal truth: our social climate enables abuse in many forms. Allegations of abuse must be taken seriously; understanding shown to victims can go a long way toward recovery.
- People that suffer from substance abuse should not be demonized.
- People who suffer from mental and emotional disorders should not be stigmatized.
- Those who have experienced narcissistic abuse and have become collateral damage should not be forgotten.
All of us at TAR Tales are committed to providing you with a safe space to share your stories safely and anonymously without fear of prejudice, judgment, or vilification. Victims of TAR deserve our gratitude and respect for sharing their truths.
Partners in Men’s Health is here for every human being to listen to their stories and help raise awareness about the hidden clinical pandemic of TAR and narcissistic abuse that has already affected millions of us. Whether you are a spouse, son, daughter, parent, or associate with a toxic work environment, Dr. Jamie and Mila, through the Partners in Men’s Health organization, will always have your back.
Not Afraid
I’m not afraid.To take a stand.Everybody come take my hand. We’ll walk this road together, through the storm, whatever weather, cold or warm.
Eminem
How often have you been mistreated by others? How often have you been put down? How many times have you felt discriminated against?
I’ve been put down a lot.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been surrounded by haters. In the 4th grade, I was vilified for being a daughter of Yugoslavian nationals.The kids in my class called me a variety of mean and hateful names, and I had no friends.Let’s call him Little Boy, one particular child revealed in bullying me.I won a school marathon, and Little Boy placed second. By the time my parents picked me up, my locker was vandalized, and the medal was stolen. We later learned that the thief was a Little Boy.
My haters took various shapes and forms throughout my life, but they all had one thing: they secretly wanted to be like me.
Envy is special cruelty. When one person is envious of another, it’s usually because they perceive another person is “better” than them.
People who are jealous of you want everything that you have.They discover that it’s easier to bring others down than to sort out what will make their own lives better. Because their jealousy is rooted in their own failures and inadequacies, they insult, criticize, and hate those they believe to be better than themselves.
I’ve attracted people who took pleasure in criticizing my every move. They hoped to knock me off my high, beautiful horse and drag me into the mud.
What are they actually telling me?
You are a leader, a peacemaker, a person who leads and conquers. You challenge the norms. And we don’t like that.
What am I telling them?
I know your jealousy is rooted in your insecurities, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. I’m sorry for how your life has turned out, but it’s not my fault.
I’ve learned that some people have a problem with me.I have also discovered that those who smiled and shared words of praise with me have secretly despised me. Why is that?
I may never know.It doesn’t matter who you are or what positive influence you try to make in this world, because haters will always exist.
No one is exempt from hatred, abuse, discrimination, and cruelty in this life. Even Mother Teresa had haters.
It can hurt even more to have someone in your close circle who is envious. It becomes personal when it is someone you know or believe you have known well.
The Greek philosopher Aristotle said that to avoid all criticism, one should say nothing, do nothing and be nothing. If we agree to do nothing, then what becomes of us?
Nothing.
Being Authentic
We become authentic versions of ourselves by our words, thoughts, feelings, and actions in the face of haters’ mockery, attacks, insults, and degradation.The opposite of love is indifference (not hate), begging these questions:
- Should we ignore the inexplicable vicious behavior of others?
- Would that help us overcome the hatred inflicted upon us?
- Would that make us happier?
I consider myself to be a worthy person. Decent people aren’t equipped to deal with scheming and behaviors bordering on the psychotic. We can’t relate to the hatred and jealousy that motivates misanthropists, rendering us easy targets.
We aren’t snipers like they are. Perhaps we can only win if we remove ourselves from their line of fire. Their goal is for you to engage them because they are natural schemers. You can’t best them and don’t want to equal them.
What is left to do?
Face and speak up against the hatred. Challenge the norm.
Mila
Saying and doing nothing cannot be an option. We cannot allow silence to dictate our morality as members of society. Good people find it exceedingly difficult to ignore sins against humankind; if we say or do nothing, it will prey upon our conscience and create an atmosphere where hatred becomes normalized and will get worse. This kind of dystonia makes all of us suffer.
If you can find the courage to confront those who would harm you, they will think twice before subjecting you to their acts of hatred. The courage of your convictions will also inspire other good people to follow your lead.
Share Your Tales
Why you might ask?
Sharing facilitates your healing and contributes to the foundation of international public health, educational and awareness campaign.
Sharing stories is the only way we can connect as humans.
Learning more about someone and their story enables us to understand them differently and form a deeper connection. For those of you who are struggling to open up, remember:
Safety is not the absence of the threat, but the presence of connection.
Dr. Gabor Maté
Keep being you, the loving and unique you. Share words of kindness. Spreading love is the best way to beat a hater. Focus on a future that builds your capacity for love, creativity, and intelligence; disregard the pathway to emotional indifference, the severe swap of evil deeds, and cold retribution.
