Triangulation is a form of manipulative behavior present in toxic abusive relationships. This model of destructive social interaction is typically an inseparable part of narcissistic abuse.
Covert narcissists often use triangulation to control and manipulate their partners, family members and friends. They use this manipulative strategy to bring another person into the dynamics of their relationship with you to stay in control. The person pulled in your relationship can be anyone, from a family member to a stranger.
Examples of Narcissist’s Triangulation.
Triangulation is considered a form of emotional abuse. Your covert narcissistic partner may pull a third person into your toxic relationship to create conflicts between the two of you so they can manipulate you.
Your narcissistic partner then acts as a messenger between you and another person, making sure that there is limited communication between the two of you except through the narcissist.
The covert narcissist will also use this form of emotional abuse once they have decided they don’t want to be with you anymore. They will pull in a third person and talk to them about their malicious intentions.
How Amber Heard Involved Other Parties in the Defamation Trial.
Narcissists cannot face their real selves. They have to live in a false reality and this includes making their partners the aggressor by involving other people. They enjoy playing the victim card.
The worldwide watched trial of Depp versus Heard has made society question whether we should believe all women when they claim abuse. The trial also highlighted domestic violence against men.
During Amber Heard’s testimony, she has brought out of nowhere Johnny’s family and ex-partners. She spoke of Johnny’s children and portrayed herself as a caretaker and protector. While Lily-Rose, Johnny Depp’s oldest daughter didn’t even attend the wedding.
At one point, she even blamed the lawyers for filing the TRO against Johnny Depp. And the recent shocking claim that Amber brought was that Johnny allegedly pushed famous model Kate Moss down the stairs.
Alleged misconduct that’s not related to a specific accusation in a case isn’t allowed to be brought up by lawyers at trial.
But, Heard’s mention of Moss could open the door for Depp’s attorneys to call Kate Moss as a witness in order to address the allegation, and bring in evidence of Amber Heard’s prior domestic violence conduct from 2009.
Triangle of Abuse.
The three specific parts within the triangle in relationships are the Persecutor, the Victim, and the Rescuer.
- The Persecutor
A narcissist will blame, control, shame, or be aggressive.
- The Victim
Narcissists will use the ‘victim’ position typically to present themselves as helpless, hopeless,in short, being victimized. This allows them to waive any responsibility for their words or actions and blame you instead.
- The Rescuer
In a toxic codependent relationship with a narcissist, you may quickly find yourself in the position of the ‘Rescuer’ – the fixer, helper, and pleaser. While the narcissist quickly shifts from any of these positions. They most commonly play the persecutor’s or the victim’s roles.
How My Best Friend Was Betrayed By His Own Family
Recently, my best friend was betrayed by his own family. You see, he has been in a relationship with a covert narcissist, and unfortunately, they have a son together. They share custody.
My friend has been through courts seeking to become the primary carer of the child, he found therapists for his child, but his ex declined. All he can do now is be a role model for his son — love him, nurture him and help him develop into a healthy young adult.He
It’s hard though, for him and for his child, who is split in between the parents.Mila
I believe that it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes one to abuse one.
And that’s a brutal truth of parental alienation. The problem is that parental alienation is a topic that people don’t speak about. It’s taboo. It’s too “inconvenient”. My friend tried to explain it to his closest friends and to his family.
But let’s face it, the only people that can understand Parental Alienation and relate to what it’s like are those who have gone through it.
One day, he learns that his family is making arrangements with his ex and that those days interfere with the dates that he is to spend with his son. At first, he ignores it, but months go by, and soon he realizes that his own parents have become flying monkeys. He realizes that his parents have chosen sides — they keep him out. He realizes that he is all alone.
He is heartbroken just like Michael Corleone was by his younger brother’s betrayal.
Flying monkeys is another way of saying ‘Abuse by Proxy’ — having someone else close to you do their dirty work for the narcissist.
My friend is an Empath, someone who doesn’t want to drag other people, and closest ones, into the drama, so the narcissist gets to them first. And it gets worse if you already come from a dysfunctional family that is more vulnerable to manipulation and drama. The narcissist will employ these third parties (the closest ones) and they will use them to continue to control and manipulate you.
How to Protect Yourself and Your children?
You must do the hard work and detach yourself from all the flying monkeys.
You are in the war zone, my friend, and you need to know who is your ally.
The narcissist wants to mentally and emotionally cripple you, so you have no strength to be there for your children. Don’t let them bury you, because if they do, they will bury the only chance that your children have at leading a fulfilling life.
Pull back, accept the situation as it is, and don’t fight back! Don’t justify or explain — they won’t get it. You will undergo, as my friend, a terrible trauma, thinking:
“I must change my family’s point of view! They don’t understand! They are harming the children!”
Let it go and do the following instead:
- Stand strong as a mountain and don’t show any emotions.
- Walk away, even when it means walking away from your family.
- Surround yourself with a new family and friends — that supports and loves you.
- Focus on your children — nothing else.
- Seek therapy.
Stay loyal to yourself, and to your child — always and forever.